LudumData

Girl from the north country by Muffin

[raw]
made by Muffin for LD32 (COMPO)
An interactive story about loss and perspective, only need a mouse and a scrollwheel.

Tested for Firefox and chrome.



This is my first entry ever for LD, and I tried my best to make this work, but I'm not satisfied with the result, especially the writing. The reason I'm uploading this is because the form of storytelling could be successful if backed by a proper writer.

Also, I started on Sunday, way too late, with both the story and most of the programming. So yeah, am I apologizing enough yet?

I hope this falls on the right side of the pretentious-fence.

Thank you for your time.

PS: I very much appreciate if you tell me about bugs, typo's or anything like that. Thanks!
Web (HTML5) https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/21512396/LUDUM_DARE/index.html
Source (plain JS) https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/21512396/LUDUM%20DARE%20COMPO%20EDITION.rar
Original URL https://ludumdare.com/compo/ludum-dare-32/?action=preview&uid=3633

Ratings

Coolness 100% 1
Overall 2.96 739
Fun 2.18 1056
Graphics 2.11 1028
Innovation 3.18 493
Mood 3.65 101
Theme 2.86 886

Feedback

Ossi
20. Apr 2015 · 07:29 UTC
Really interesting story. I like the way you used the theme and connected it with the emotional tones of life. Having the story fold out on itself as you click through the different days is a really neat idea. Great sense of mood. Well done!
mike1101
20. Apr 2015 · 07:31 UTC
Not sure how to rate this. I get that it's an interactive story. Not much into reading ... I started but got bored so I ended up clicking the links to progress, and when the links stopped I would go back and click another link to scan forward and see what happens.

I suppose I should comment on your writing ? You say "I" a lot ... It kind of seems like the whole thing is the character dealing with the death of their son ? And trying not to kill themselves ? By ruminiscing on the right / wrong thing ? Great idea ... Hmmm, let me think about it ...
minnouu
20. Apr 2015 · 07:36 UTC
Interesting way of telling a story, and the story is crazy dark... pretty good
Prowler
20. Apr 2015 · 07:39 UTC
Very well done! Full points for the mood. Compared to other entries I give you 3 Theme points. I'd like to give you a 2 for graphics because the text colorization is great, but compared to my other votings it would be unfair to give more than one point for a game without an image :D. Innovation 1 because I've played alot of the "inkle writer" games and the gameplay is similar. Overall its a good 3.

I hope to see more of your work in augusts ludum. Maybe with a few pics and a moody background music ;)

See ya! and Greetings.

Pat
morazor
20. Apr 2015 · 08:31 UTC
Nice narrative experiment. Don't apologize so much, the writing is good and feels really emotional :)

Not strictly a video game, but I think that it is worth "playing"... call it interactive story or video game, "a rose by any other name would smell as sweet" :D
🎤 Muffin
20. Apr 2015 · 08:35 UTC
Thanks for the comments guys! Appreciate it alot!
MrDave
20. Apr 2015 · 08:37 UTC
Personally I’m not a fan of text adventures. However this was brilliantly executed. I would have loved a bit of ambient sound. Top marks for mood! I hope this one does well.

It doesn’t seem right to criticise another comment saying that you cant give more than 1 start for a game with no images. I gave 3 stars for graphics because I think what you have done with text and colours alone is more stylish than some games using 3D engines.
Iak
20. Apr 2015 · 08:46 UTC
I like this. Seing the story change depending on small details that are changed is definitely interesting.
Prowler
20. Apr 2015 · 08:50 UTC
Thanks for voting my game! Yepp, the "A-team" problem is due to a very small pool of top texts. Shame on me ;)
retrophantom
20. Apr 2015 · 09:07 UTC
omg i love this, especially after working hard on the jam, its like an oasis. i like how the story reveals more by changing your actions but damn, my story would have ended 4 clicks ago
madjackmcmad
20. Apr 2015 · 09:43 UTC
Dark stuff. I like the idea of re-writing someone's story with branching points, but you're right that the writing itself has to be really solid if it's going to be entertaining. I bet you could make it shine if you put some more time into it! Keep it up.
joppiesaus
20. Apr 2015 · 10:01 UTC
Interesting story and mechanics. I don't really feel like I get the story, but it seems like you can make it worse. Mood is dark, so mood is great. I don't get the theme "unconventional weapon" out of the mechanics or story. I probably don't understand it, but that's possible with art forms. I can appreciate it.
That said, you give someone a feeling, which is quite impressing.
Great work.
HeskHwis
20. Apr 2015 · 10:26 UTC
It's a great story with a interesting dark mood, however I think that there's way too much writing... Mayb I'll retry another time, but I found myself lost in all this amount of texte.
On an toher hand, the idea of changing the story with small elements is great and well thought :)
Skywilly
20. Apr 2015 · 10:35 UTC
The story is interesting. I would have appreciated not be able to change their choice after some clicks but it's still very cool as well ;)
factorial
20. Apr 2015 · 10:39 UTC
Excellent, innovative approach to story telling. I hope to see more like this.
strega
20. Apr 2015 · 10:39 UTC
Really interesting way of literally uncovering the story and digging through the text.
SkyWolf
20. Apr 2015 · 10:42 UTC
Woo. When i opened it i was like: "Wall of text, bail out". Then i got engaged by the story and it was pretty good.

But it is not much of a "game", is it?
PaperBlurt
20. Apr 2015 · 12:57 UTC
Had a bit difficult reading the text.
But good going...
AlexDJones
20. Apr 2015 · 17:07 UTC
Always glad to see an IF entry!

Technical errors aside, I thought this was good. My only big concern was that the ending seemed to come out of nowhere - suddenly there's this revenge scene where before the story was more morose in tone. I did like how the choice at the ending, with there not being a "canonical" or "correct" ending.
Tijn
20. Apr 2015 · 18:50 UTC
Well done! I like interesting & different games like these. Some music would have been nice, though.
Hectate
20. Apr 2015 · 20:20 UTC
Its an interesting way to present a branching path through a terrible time. Thanks for the story.
ManicMiner
20. Apr 2015 · 21:06 UTC
I certainly don't mind getting down to a bit of IF when the mood takes me, and this was a nicely constructed, dark and moody piece.
Resonance Arcade
21. Apr 2015 · 19:05 UTC
Innovative and different - I wouldn't quite call it a game, but still a good idea! Reminds me of reading adventure books when I was a kid, only it's not falling to bits like all the ones I have :)
talecrafter
21. Apr 2015 · 19:07 UTC
Good entry. And the story was moody.
The text between the interactive elements was too long, in my opinion.
🎤 Muffin
21. Apr 2015 · 19:11 UTC
To the people saying this is not a game: You are right, in the traditional sense this is not a game, it does not judge or reward you based on your achievements. It might not even be a form of play. This is why I called it an interactive story. However, I think this is a game in the sense that it gives you a puzzle to figure out. It is a puzzle without a clear solution, a puzzle where most choices are both a bit wrong and right, just like life. If pressed for terminology, I'd call it explorative play. Anyway, don't think saying its not a game is a negative reaction, it is the correct conclusion. Thank you for your feedback.
LuisDC
21. Apr 2015 · 19:35 UTC
Interesting story, I liked it.
Incredible Ape
21. Apr 2015 · 20:35 UTC
The storytelling mechanic was pretty neat, like the way your mind shifts through different possibilities.
philipp
21. Apr 2015 · 21:46 UTC
I really like the story and how the text unfolded. I checked through it again and I think I got a hang on your theme. Remembering the person you lost in a good spirit, living in the here and now and as you state at the beginning, stopping all the ruminations. Good message.

If I had to criticize one thing it would be that the ending is always the same, I think, a bit of variety would have given some decisions better closure :]
jdselsor
21. Apr 2015 · 22:05 UTC
I loved how when I clicked on a link the story got expanded. I love the mood even though it is sad but I personalty like sad stories. My only complaint is it is not very game like.
asobi tech
22. Apr 2015 · 08:21 UTC
Good writing, liked being able to shift states and seeing the different outcomes. Maybe a little hard to digest at times. Pacing may need to be changed for a Ludum Dare game.
shrapx
22. Apr 2015 · 22:09 UTC
its a really interesting concept! I wished there were extra options on some of the final points to find another way out.. :3
6DownStudios
23. Apr 2015 · 05:05 UTC
Powerful stuff, quite a way with words. I especially like the "master in the head can be cruel to the body" bit. I'm glad you chose an outside the box interpretation. I remember reading choose-your-own-adventure books and wishing they had better writing and/or more profound themes.
louki0101
24. Apr 2015 · 14:22 UTC
I've never played a game like that before... well done!
Kate Kligman
25. Apr 2015 · 18:53 UTC
This looks cool, but the color choice is too difficult to read on my macbook pro retina display.
Ammypendent
30. Apr 2015 · 05:27 UTC
Very nice writing. I could see the text reveal being paired with the right ambiance and sound effects to pull the reader even more into the zone.
Crowbeak
30. Apr 2015 · 12:28 UTC
I agree that better writing would have improved this. It's a good story, though. And the use of colors to indicate which text changes when a link is clicked is good. I wish the font had been a bit thicker, though. The contrast between black and gray was too low for how thin the font was.
Jacob Eriksson
10. May 2015 · 16:11 UTC
To get hit by a wall of text at first was not very exciting, but I understand the reasons behind that and the game was good anyways.