Wounded by Words by Traumendes_Madchen
Wounded by Words is the tale of six people who are trapped in the ruins of a shopping center after a terrorist attack. All they can do is wait for the rescue team to come. As the individuals are growing more and more desperate over time, you'll be able to grow closer to them and discover their stories.
Ratings
| Coolness |
92% |
2 |
| Overall(Jam) |
3.75 |
131 |
| Audio(Jam) |
3.79 |
90 |
| Fun(Jam) |
3.02 |
540 |
| Graphics(Jam) |
4.38 |
64 |
| Humor(Jam) |
2.44 |
722 |
| Innovation(Jam) |
2.62 |
784 |
| Mood(Jam) |
3.88 |
77 |
| Theme(Jam) |
3.16 |
654 |
Feedback
@TheCrouchMode & @Erkberg
Thanks a lot! Since I wrote in haste, there are many typos. I'll try to fix them as soon as possible! (and with the help of a good night of sleep XD)
[SPOILER]
Btw, who took Haasan's juice bottle?
[/SPOILER]
Thank you very much, I'm glad you enjoyed it :3
@RoryD
Between Saturday morning and Monday evening actually but all the artists were so fast at drawing, I ended up being the only one struggling with time strangely enough ='D.
Well, it’s a visual novel at heart, so there's indeed not that much gameplay. I wanted to add a bit more interactivity but didn’t have the time. Maybe I'll do that in an updated version ^^.
@pikmin4000
Ahah, I really had to rush during the whole weekend to finish the writing. I think I never went so fast in my life. Thank you ^^.
About the endings: I didn't have time to include Hassan's but the other three are here. You have to get really closer to someone to his/her ending though.
[SPOILER]
If you talk to the character in question just after the quarrel he/she will admit the theft. So you can save before the choice and reload to see who it is. I wanted to deepen this work a little more and couldn't due to the time limit. I may try to add some sort of investigation part in an updated version =).
[/SPOILER]
@Ryusui
I just added the game on itchio, I hope it'll prevent any download problem from now on.
Ahah, as you can guess, English is not my native language and writing that much in a tight period of time proved to be a real challenge! We'll try to fix all those typos in an updated version. If you have spotted some, you can still share them to help us =).
@squirrelbot
It’s an idea I had in mind since a few weeks or months and I didn’t have the opportunity to make something out of it. Ludum Dare was perfect for that. I’m still unsatisfied since I couldn't really polish my writing as much as I wanted X). Thanks !
About the endings: I didn't have time to include Hassan's but the other three are here. You have to get really closer to someone to his/her ending though.
"we're lucky none of us got any major injury" -> injuries
"what if the platform fall on us" -> falls
"My son Hassan, right here, slept away" -> slipped
"they went to an exposition" -> exhibition (probably?)
Maybe not a typo but I'm not sure what Eleesha meant by "not channelling my child" (maybe it was meant to be challenging)?
Good work for the time period, sleep levels, and not being native speakers though! I might play a bit more to see what endings I can get later, so there may be more typo reports coming, if you want!
Thanks a lot, I’m glad to see our efforts payed!
@terpin
We use RenPy ^^. It’s really the best engine if you’re into visual novel: free, easy to use (Python FTW) and advanced enough to do more stuff if you have skills. Plus the community is super friendly and involved!
Potato shooters ar great, but the more diverse games can be, the better. That’s why I hope narrative ones like this one have their place here ;)
@OddballDave
Yep, I never wrote so much so fast in my life XD.
According to RenPy Launcher, the game contains 1,215 dialogue blocks, containing 19,674 words and 102,511characters, for an average of 16.2 words and 84 characters per block.
@RockhopperGames
It’s okay, I’m open to feedbacks and I’m hoping to upload an improved version in the following days/weeks ^^. What in the introduction scene seemed forced to you exactly? I have to admit I expected that most people wouldn’t be familiar with some topics so maybe I went a bit too far on the obvious side?
I’m taking the typo reports as well, thanks XD ! If you have more, maybe a mail would be more appropriate. Here’s our contact form: http://traumendes-madchen.com/contact/
« Maybe not a typo but I'm not sure what Eleesha meant by "not channelling my child" (maybe it was meant to be challenging)? » = Ah, I meant that she have to « restrain him » in someway. I guess I didn’t use the right word.
@Bashabookoos
Well, it’s a visual novel at core, so text is the essence of the game. I do tend to write slow introductions though, so I may be guilty. I’m open to advices to rewrite the beginning but I’m afraid I can’t add many game mechanics X).
Also great graphics, even with a team of artists, to get that much done in time must have been hard.
Yeah, I was told it was a bit too long. Do you think I should make an intro « in media res » instead?
Glad to see people liking interactive/visual novel, it’s heartwarming :3
@ChronusZ
Ah, you think the ending is too forced? Since the theme isn’t clearly explicit, I thought it would be a good moment for that. Especially since people told me the theme wasn’t clear last time I entered Ludum Dare. What would you recommend to correct that?
@Lady Beardo
Thank you very much!
@x1212
Well, it’s a pretty standard feature for a visual novel: since reading text takes some time, it wouldn’t be comfortable at all not to be able to stop whenever you want =).
Actually the artists were strangely efficient and it’s me who was behind with the writing during the whole event X’).
Technical-wise - Because I'm not used of seeing the protagonist I took some time to properly identify the actual narrator as Agathe. But I quickly got over it and seeing her and her facial expression was in fact quite good. As for the app in itself, there's nothing much to say. Stable and glitchless for two play-through, not that I was expecting otherwise from a RenPy app :)
A few typos I forgot to note down since I was quite enjoying the story. I liked the little interactive moments with the scenery.
The weak point would definitively be the theme I'd say. The title while attractive didn't in fact look so leading and its meaning came to me quite abruptly, and in the end it felts like the story was somewhat adapted to it rather than built around it.
On a little note, the bad ending was also very anticlimactic... In fact does it has any purpose? Clicking the relevant choice was like jumping in a pool of lava expecting something else than burning instantly to death. Unless I'm missing something, it felt like a Stanley Parable trap, where you say to yourself "I can't possibly see any other outcome than what's going to happen by doing this" and it is EXACTLY what happens. xD
Overall very good. Pleasant and entertaining with little grimdark, I liked it :)
I like how Dave created some conflict in the group, but still wasn't an over the top "bad guy", just somewhat insensitive. Would've liked a Dave ending too, or at least more interaction with him. All the other characters felt very real and believable too with their own lives and problems. I also liked how much variation there was in the facial expressions and having the characters blink was a really nice touch. As were the semi-animated backgrounds and varied music.
Good amount of (varied) interaction too. The choices were also good in that when selecting one I could be almost certain of the effect it would have. In my opinion it's quite annoying how in some visual novels you think a choice will have a certain effect, but actually it leads to something completely unintended (well, not that life sometimes isn't like that :P).
It's true that explicitly spelling out things can be a double edged sword, but I didn't think it was overdone here and in my opinion fit with the image that I had of the protagonist.
Not much actual criticism, but rather praise; really solid entry all around. Saw your post during the weekend about almost not participating, but I'm glad you saw it through after all.
-Neith
So, really great work! Will definitely check out other endings (i got normal and bad so far).
I wonder how Agathe got the gun, if they took it from her?
And I guess maybe I am a bit more familiar with some of those conditions than people generally might be, so disregard that bit! >_< (A compromise could be giving the player an option to have Agathe stand up for Hassan as if she knew what up with him, and an option to ask about it instead, but it's not really the type of VN that gives those kind of choices)
And it would be "challenging" in that case, then! "Channeling" would have worked if she meant 'direct him' or something like that, but it'd be a bit of an unusual choice.
The story gives me gooses bumps 'til the end.
Good job :)
BlitzProg, what are you doing here 0o? Most people commenting on the Ludum Dare page are other participants, you could have let a comment on the team blog instead, you know! (Plus you could have commented here directly in French…)
« As for the app in itself, there's nothing much to say. Stable and glitchless for two play-through, not that I was expecting otherwise from a RenPy app » = As you said, it’s a RenPy visual novel, it would require a lot of efforts on my part to make the game unstable X’).
I think you’re reading a bit too much into the bad ending because there was no surprise intended. I got you used to more surprising twists, maybe ^^’ ?
Thanks for posting your opinion. Next time, please use the devblog: it looks like you’re avoiding it at all cost =’).
@nassi
It’s true the story must be quite long for a game jam entry X’). Out of curiosity, how much time did it take you to finish?
I really wanted to show that poor Dae was ignorant but not a bad guy overall, so there’s no real antagonist per se (except the wall maybe, since it prevents them from escaping XD). I added a route for him in an updated version if you want =).
I wanted to add more choices and variations at first but since I didn’t even find the time to write all routes/endings, it was quickly set aside. I’m relieved it doesn’t seem too « simplistic ».
Ah, you saw that too ><. I really wasn’t inspired by the theme, so it’s a miracle I mustered the strength to go with it… Anyway, thanks for the detailed feedback!
@jhrrsn
I’ll take a look when I’ll have the time, thanks for telling me ;)
@DeadFragment & @Arche-san
Thanks, I’m glad you liked it!
@caryoscelys
I removed the fading effects in the latest update, I’ll still have to find a solution for the nvl mode though. If you want to go for all endings, I’d avise you to download the update, since it includes Dave & Hassans endings as welll ^^.
Err, that’s a good question! I may write an epilogue at some point to touch upon the matter.
@RockhopperGames
Thanks for the typos report, I replied to your mail ^^.
Hum, it’s true that stating the most basic facts isn’t that interesting. Aren’t introductions in real life always a bit typical though?
« And I guess maybe I am a bit more familiar with some of those conditions than people generally might be, so disregard that bit! >_< […] » = Hey, but it’s great! I started on the principle that most people wouldn’t really know these topics, so I tried to make them understand the subject a bit better. I thought I should to wait a bit before stating his condition to push the reader to think about it. Hassan’s route is supposed to give the player the opportunity to get closer to him, but it isn’t that easy to set up since he won’t let people approach him so easily either X’).
Ah, and I changed the word in the new version since « channeling » really wasn’t the best option XD.
Finished all the branches now. Not sure which one i liked better, but Dave branch felt a bit overly optimistic to me :) It's good thing you didn't make him juice robber after all though.
Another minor technical note: repeating ending part can't be skipped for some reason. Perhaps you just copied the text instead of reusing it?
Thank you both, it means a lot to me :3
@Sytech
Well, I tried to go the « Words as Weapon » approach but it’s true it was difficult to convey it accurately X). Some people told me I was too obvious about it in the ending though.
@gv1351
It’s called a visual novel actually. Narrative games are different but for me they’re still games ;).
@caryoscelys
I don’t remember using outlines before but it might be a good idea, I’ll look into that ^^.
Ahah, it would be too easy to make Dave the culprit since he’s kind of the « outcast » of the group. At least, I’d like to avoid the « black and white » outcome ^^. What felt optimistic to you? The fact he’s trying to be less tactless?
Ah! The reason is simple: each ending is a different label, and only the middle part is copied, so you can’t really skip it. Do you think I should make it skippable? (I admit I didn’t think about it >_<)
Thank you very much, I'm flattered >__<. I may try to make an extended version one day if I have the time, I think the story would definitely need me to go deeper into the writing!
@NAL
Thank you, I'm glad I got someone not usually interested in story-driven games to read my story :3. I'll do my best to show how awesome visual novel can be ;).
@jukimv1986
Ive never heard of Reversion 2 before, I'm genuinely intrigued! Thanks for the tip, I'll look into that ^^.
Skipping feature really helps when reading different branches and when it suddenly stops working you get the impression that you haven't read this text, which then gives alternatives to read the same text over and over or be afraid of missing something new. While it's not a big issue, i think it's better to avoid this. (just in case you don't know about it, simplest way is to use call/return instead of copying; http://www.renpy.org/doc/html/label.html#call-statement )