Crossed Paths:Connected Worlds by MikomiKisomi

[raw]
made by MikomiKisomi for LD30 (JAM)
Crossed Paths:Connected Worlds is a finished visual novel about a high school senior named Claire who's life keeps throwing things at her and feels she's at her breaking point, when she finds a mysterious necklace in the woods. That night she meets Sophronia, a girl her age with the exact same necklace who tells Claire that their necklaces have the ability to travel to other worlds! This game features 2 alternate endings, so be sure to go back once you get one ending!

Music was used with permission from here:
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/554093
http://www.newgrounds.com/audio/listen/566866

(This is my first Ludum Dare, and I just began game designing 2 months ago, so I decided to stick with a visual novel, since I'm best at those.)

Feedback

Victory Garden
26. Aug 2014 · 06:43 UTC
Hi! Congratulations, first of all, on your very first Ludum Dare game jam! I hope to see you again in December :]

I went looking for Visual Novels and was happy to find yours! I really like your character designs, and the music you chose was cute. Did you compose it yourself? You've clearly put a LOT of effort into this!

The only thing I would say is that I think the player might like some decision points sooner in the dialogue! When you're writing for games, you don't have as much opportunity to give lots of character exposition. The goal is to engage *interactivity*, so the player has to feel like they're taking an active part in the narrative, if only in interpreting it to make good choices later!

Thank you for the game!
GrooveMan
28. Aug 2014 · 20:56 UTC
Ah, I do love cute romance stories. I'm not sure if I'm feeling the design decision to have both characters look at the 'camera' (Usually you choose to either look through the eyes of the protag or have the characters look at each other).

I think you needed another, more sombre music tracks, since the upbeat music kinda made the more heartfelt parts fall flat, but overall it was an enjoyable story!

Keep experimenting with Ren'Py functions (I'd say look into how to move characters around the screen and changing the look of the textbox as your next steps), and you'll be a pro in no time. Thanks for making this!
Sunflower
30. Aug 2014 · 16:36 UTC
Okay, it was rather interesting, though there have been only two choices from what I saw, out of which the first probably still had the same outcome eventually. There's just some thing I really wasn't fond of - it seemed only the characters' mouth expression changed during the conversations, while eyes, gestures etc. (especially eyes) were static, which made especially Claire look somewhat... I don't know, aloof? *shrugs*

Still, that's a nice start for your first entry. ^^"
Traumendes_Madchen
30. Aug 2014 · 18:14 UTC
Hey, another RenPy dev ! Not bad for someone who had just begun, the story was nice and all. I just got the good end but it was satisfying (YURI FTW).

Just a little nitpicking but you shouldn't show sprites over a CG, it hides the picture and doesn't add much to the story =o.
NicePenguins
03. Sep 2014 · 15:29 UTC
Well done for your first ludum game !
Like Victory Garden was saying, it's need more interactions to engage the player. And i find that the dialogues were a little bit cliché.
MoonlightBomber
04. Sep 2014 · 12:25 UTC
Overall, this VN is good, save for some nitpicks.

1. Event CGs are called event CGs for a reason. They signify an event that cannot be conveyed by ordinary character sprites alone. As an experienced VN connoisseur since 2005, please do not place character sprites when showing event CGs.
2. Some typos and grammatical errors remain, but they do not bother me a lot.
3. A credits sequence would be nice.