Beneath the Surface / Warm by finefin

[raw]
made by finefin for LD29 (COMPO)
I know this is not quite compliant to the rules of Ludum Dare.
First, I didn't code myself, I used Twine http://twinery.org/
Except for some of the simple css-effects I wrote, all the credits go to the awesome people who make that tool!

And then I used a story from the Public Domain (Robert Sheckley 'Warm' (1953) http://www.gutenberg.org/ebooks/29509 ) and transformed it to a game. Most of the text is from the original story, simply rewritten to second person and present tense. I am fascinated by that story since I read it in my youth and it influenced my view on this universe, this planet, earthlings and all the absurdities your brain has to deal with.

When I read the theme "Beneath the Surface", this story came to my mind immediately. I also wanted to try Twine for a long time. So this is what exists now. Or does it? I hope you have some strange kind of fun ;)

Ratings

Coolness 54% 3
Overall 2.91 825
Fun 2.93 641
Graphics 2.22 1122
Humor 2.43 563
Innovation 2.93 648
Mood 3.66 137
Theme 3.20 618

Feedback

Christophe
27. Apr 2014 路 23:45 UTC
At the begging I was just clicking not reading just because I wanna a read the final end (so lazy)! But after I realized it looped, I start reading. That was a special experience. It was bewitching.
PaperBlurt
28. Apr 2014 路 08:25 UTC
Nice little story, but I feel that there's no need for two options as I get directed towards the "right" one anyway.

Nothing wrong with just clicking instead of having options that don't matter.

Other than that: Good job....
馃帳 finefin
28. Apr 2014 路 11:28 UTC
thanks, PaperBlurt. Although there are several ways to fail the main story (SPOILER! and the idea was the infinite loop /SPOILER!), I understand that I could have done a lot more, especially when experiencing interactive stories like yours.
As this is my very first Twine project, I guess I'll download your source and learn from it ;)
Snoother
28. Apr 2014 路 17:17 UTC
It is very linear, but that kind of worked for me. And the whole loop thing is pretty cool. Also it's an interesting use of the theme.

Oh, and nice use font effects and font variety -- something so many Twine games neglect.
Bekokstover
29. Apr 2014 路 18:54 UTC
This is a great story to turn into a Twine adventure, and I don't think it's that bad that you used it. That's creativity! The way you implemented the words as if he's losing his mind really do the trick. I feel weird now. Really weird.
TobiasW
29. Apr 2014 路 23:26 UTC
Well, that was a great experience! It sounds like you've taken a lot from the original story, but converting it into interactive fiction format probably still took a lot of work. It felt a bit too much guided though - I guess that's the price you pay when you take a linear story as a source.

Thanks a lot for sharing this!
caryoscelus
30. Apr 2014 路 19:14 UTC
I think i'm going to like this.. As for rules - i think you should've put this into jam category and it would be totally fine.
馃帳 finefin
01. May 2014 路 08:19 UTC
you're right, I should have submitted this as a jam.
oh well, who cares, this won't win any prices anyway, I guess :) I made you read one of my favourite short stories, so my secret mission is accomplished!
gre
01. May 2014 路 08:52 UTC
Nice job, I explored all the paths, you made a nice work transforming the story into an interactive story game.
schn眉t
01. May 2014 路 09:03 UTC
Fascinating story, nicely presented. :-)
jtpup0
01. May 2014 路 10:07 UTC
That was deep, really liked the story
Boodog
01. May 2014 路 14:11 UTC
Good job!
Thorig
02. May 2014 路 07:11 UTC
Good job.
SyBen
04. May 2014 路 00:11 UTC
Nice story, the looping is in a fact a nice improvment to the story telling.
petey123567
09. May 2014 路 15:19 UTC
that was interesting!