Insomniac by AidanAK47
A Kinetic novel created using the Ren'Py visual novel engine. The music and sound effects were taken from the visual novel Umineko no naku koro ni.
This horror story involves a college student being tormented by a strange creature that sits in the corner of his room at night.
This horror story involves a college student being tormented by a strange creature that sits in the corner of his room at night.
Ratings
| Coolness | 30% | 1613 |
| Overall(Jam) | 3.42 | 155 |
| Audio(Jam) | 3.82 | 31 |
| Fun(Jam) | 3.17 | 191 |
| Graphics(Jam) | 3.28 | 287 |
| Innovation(Jam) | 2.84 | 347 |
| Mood(Jam) | 4.44 | 2 |
| Theme(Jam) | 1.94 | 583 |
I suggest the usage of text tags (especially {w} and {p}) to dramatically break up your longer lines of dialogue, as well as a better point of view/scale when it comes to the graphics? Great writing!
Nevertheless, fantastic spooky game!
I like the shots of house, but could have been more of these, even different ones of the same place from the same POV.
I would have liked if the monster was less in your face, maybe there was something other way you could have done the art for it or meshed better with environment? Sound was well used too (that sound effect damn).
Liked hearing the character's thoughts, more of that and more unusual, atypical stuff.
Though I would approach it in a different way that just having it appear when the other person is asleep. I think I will have it that he asks someone to stay in the room but it is at this point where his mentality is slightly unhinged. So rather than the person becoming scared of the thing tormenting the main character, they instead become scared of the main character standing guard with bat in hand. And then leave him to face it alone.
I think it's reasonable that he might keep it all to himself - most reasonable people after all don't want to say "I see shadows at night and I'm scared". After all, he didn't tell his flatmate or his family about it, so it might be not his style to talk about these kinds of things to his friends. Perhaps some suggestion that he's a character who doesn't believe in any supernatural phenomena (or possibly mental disorders, though that's a little less PC) would help explain why he wouldn't tell anyone.
Good entry!
It's a great short story, too! Very well told!
Nice work on the narrative and presentation!