Kill the Beast by limbo

[raw]
made by limbo for Ludum Dare 46 (JAM)

Pure interactive text without anything more. Sorry. I just want to level up in non-linear storytelling and the practice suppose to be the best teacher.


There could be typos, but there shouldn't be many errors.

Ratings

Overall 2338th 2.854⭐ 26🧑‍⚖️
Fun 2209th 2.739⭐ 25🧑‍⚖️
Innovation 2488th 2.25⭐ 26🧑‍⚖️
Theme 2206th 3.022⭐ 25🧑‍⚖️
Graphics 2313th 1.733⭐ 17🧑‍⚖️
Humor 1811th 2.263⭐ 21🧑‍⚖️
Mood 1906th 2.952⭐ 23🧑‍⚖️
Given 22🗳️ 15🗨️

Feedback

orlandobatista
24. Apr 2020 · 01:54 UTC
You don't have to sorry, that was a cool way to tell a story! Keep practicing, that's definitely the best teacher.
I traveled the world with him! :smile:
And saved my father (I'm not sure if he deserved but well...), so I guess I "keep it alive". :sweat_smile:
multiplexor
24. Apr 2020 · 01:58 UTC
Niceee, I like the narrative, and I got a pretty nice ending :) Game is short and simple but i found it quite entertaining.

Well done, keep up the good work!
SilentMrDave
24. Apr 2020 · 04:44 UTC
Keep at it and you'll get better in no time. You had a clear idea and executed on it. Looking forward to your future work.
meelo
25. Apr 2020 · 14:57 UTC
I was sometimes a bit confused at what effect each option might have, but the dialogue was interesting to read nonetheless, and it told a nice little story.
Curtis Pelissier
25. Apr 2020 · 15:07 UTC
The story is interesting. I like that multi-choice dialogue game style. Some english errors but still good. You're questionning about who are the real monsters in our lifes, with open question so. Great choice, nice mood.
lapinchatware
25. Apr 2020 · 21:03 UTC
Like books, graphics are not always needed. In this case, it was not needed. Good job. Still, design and presentation are important parts of creation. Even for text. I liked the story. I felt involved in it. Please do continue your work.
TheDouche
03. May 2020 · 12:54 UTC
Cool game, keep on going! :D
Kate90
06. May 2020 · 17:05 UTC
Good story! Well done! Wish it could be longer. And to add sound to it, could be breath taking away :)
Jorim
06. May 2020 · 19:42 UTC
I like it as a short game. I think the beast was written nicely, quite likeable. The father could have used a bit more nuance / time to develop as a character. Great jam!
Natwomb
06. May 2020 · 20:01 UTC
Neat game you made, made for a nice little story with a nice ending. The only drawback is that i would have liked the story to continue! :D
Airola
09. May 2020 · 18:29 UTC
Lots of misspellings, I assume you are not a native English speaker. That's one thing you should look at if you want to make interactive stories. Quite often on Steam if this type of a game has lots of spelling errors it's mentioned negatively in the reviews, so work on that.

What comes to the interactive story, I think there were just the right amount of choices. It's often very tedious to play interactive story games if there's minutes and minutes of text in between choices but you seem to be good at balancing that. If you continue doing these types of games I hope you'll keep on having this kind of a balance between the story and the choices.
kjscott
10. May 2020 · 10:04 UTC
There was quite a lot there in terms of controls and being able to review things. The pacing was good between reading and actions, so it felt like I was doing things more or less constantly. I felt that the speed of screen updates was a little slow even when I was doing what I could to get through the text as fast as possible. Nice little entry there overall.
yy404
10. May 2020 · 11:37 UTC
Thanks for the end. That was a happy life :smirk:

By the way, I think I heard no sound.
qqcs
10. May 2020 · 16:52 UTC
No shame in a pure text game. The pacing and variety of options are good. I personally prefer this shorter style of writing as opposed to long stretches of text without options. It keeps me more engaged with the story and lets me imagine what the world might look like.

The text after the option "It started when he left the guid[sic]" seems to be rather abrupt. Was there intended to be something else instead of running away? There are quite a lot of errors, most are minor typos but some like "Run out here" are unclear. I guessed that meant "Run out *in the open*", but the result is more like "Run out *of* here".

You do mention you're a non-native English speaker. Well done on working on narrative game as an entry!
(Also, everyone go peek at their art: https://www.artstation.com/limbo)