Monster by Lou Byrd

[raw]
made by Lou Byrd for LD33 (JAM)
Monster is a short interactive narrative depicting the not-so-beautiful side of life.


Notes
Monsters is the result a brief insight triggered by the theme. It deals with heavy topics, and carries with it lots of personal depth. However, despite being inspired by unfortunate real life experiences, it is in its entirety fictional.


Tech notes
Monsters was fully written in roughly 4 straight hours, and implemented in Twine v2.0.8 in about 2 hours
While I would like to explore the less rudentary mechanics possible, I couldn't find the time to develop it (yet?)
It is massively content based (sorry, programmers)
Also, English is not my native language.

Thank you for the interest!

Ratings

Coolness 33% 1842
Overall(Jam) 3.21 527
Fun(Jam) 2.29 1026
Humor(Jam) 1.33 944
Innovation(Jam) 2.45 915
Mood(Jam) 4.00 61
Theme(Jam) 4.24 34

Feedback

bumbu
25. Aug 2015 · 20:32 UTC
Game is stuck on 2nd line of text for me
fdslk
25. Aug 2015 · 20:34 UTC
*claps* Wonderful writing, story and mood with the black and grey palette. Gosh! I love text adventures just because of games like these
Andrew Deem
25. Aug 2015 · 20:38 UTC
It's always amazing to me how even the simplest of stories/games can have some of the biggest impacts emotionally on an individual. Great job.

If you wanted to carry this further, I think it could be cool to have the story intermixed with some gameplay. Just an idea.
scriptorum
25. Aug 2015 · 20:41 UTC
Pretty dark stuff! More of a narrative than a game, but I like how you structured the story.
athaclena
25. Aug 2015 · 20:41 UTC
Really brave piece. Very, very uncomfortable to play through. You dwelt upon the subject matter so lightly and so unforgivingly. It's hard to compliment you on something that upset me so much, but I'm pretty sure that was the point, so well done.
zenmumbler
25. Aug 2015 · 20:44 UTC
Uncomfortable and definitely for mature audiences only, and not in the "he says the f-word a lot-mature" sense. A surprising entry in this LD and certainly very evocative and the most real-world interpretation of the theme I've seen so far and will likely see. Damn.
Culturebosh_games
25. Aug 2015 · 20:54 UTC
Thanks for letting us play your game!

What I liked:

Great atmosphere, really liked the detached, sometimes Patrick Bateman-like internal thoughts of the main character.

Liked the minimalist visual aesthetic as well and you interpretation of the theme.

Areas to develop:

Some typos and grammatical bits, which took me out of the story (but only a little bit).

Congratulations! Well done!
Dianouille
25. Aug 2015 · 20:55 UTC
Well exploited theme ! Maybe more choices would have been better, but the mood was here.
K.Chplr
25. Aug 2015 · 21:22 UTC
Damn.

It is certainly not fun, but it was really good nonetheless.

Even though english is not your native language and there's a few typo here and there, you did a good job with the story telling. You did not fall into the trap of self-pity and I thank you for that.
Sergi Montaner
25. Aug 2015 · 22:10 UTC
Nice game.
The only criticism I would give is that the clickable options should be more visible.
collaboration
26. Aug 2015 · 08:57 UTC
Well, that was disturbing, have mixed feelings about this game.
Jani Nykänen
28. Aug 2015 · 17:55 UTC
Well-written text-based game.
Denis347
29. Aug 2015 · 13:57 UTC
Doesnt really meet my conditions of a Game, but the story is great, that's for sure. But again, more of a book than a game.
scorched
29. Aug 2015 · 14:01 UTC
Very touching!
P.S. I've found a bug (or easter egg?): when the game ends I click at the title, then an ALTERNATIVE NARRATIVE begins... Then it ends, and then starts again the first one, but with purple highlighted text instead of white...
t4u
29. Aug 2015 · 14:23 UTC
I liked the writting but at some point I stopped. Too much and too dark for one go... save option would be nice
Sparrow
29. Aug 2015 · 15:28 UTC
Amazing writing, disturbing but amazing. Bravo.
NidzaKornjaca
29. Aug 2015 · 18:34 UTC
Cool story, quite unsettling.
randoman
29. Aug 2015 · 22:32 UTC
I have the same problem as @bumbu, the game is stuck on the 2nd line of text, either on Firefox or Chrome
Mach60KAS
30. Aug 2015 · 00:57 UTC
// SPOILERS AHEAD //

I got angry at the dude that raped my daughter, and that means I beat her? There's one hell of a disconnect between what you've written for the choices and what actually happens.

// END SPOILER //

Apart from that it was mostly well written, but I felt that by the end I kept asking myself which choice you'd arbitrarily made more evil. Well done, kudos.