...is something I experience very often. Both in my education and work, it feels like someone in your head is constantly comparing you to your peers and coworkers and telling you that you're out of your league, or that you cheated to get to where you are.

I think that probably started when I had a piano teacher for several years when I was younger that expected nothing less than perfection from my performances, which ultimately felt like I had to either be absolutely flawless in my play, or be viewed as having "not practiced enough". That attitude has stuck with me throughout high school, university, and now (only sometimes) my job. If I didn't do it well enough, I shouldn't have done it at all.

That's sort of what my game is, behind the curtains. It's an oversimplified arcade shooter that I scoped so small, I absolutely couldn't mess it up. I was afraid of not being able to finish or create something compelling, and so I kept it to an absolute minimum despite being able to do so much more. No music because my music isn't good enough, no special ideas cause they weren't unique enough, and very little fancy hand drawn art cause I'm no artist.

It's a terrible feeling to be held back by yourself in your head, it almost feels like your finish line doesn't get closer no matter how much you run. I'm sure many of you can relate.

The immense positive feedback I've received from those who played my game has been a reminder for me that it's pointless to think that way. I am getting better, but that feeling still lingers here and there.

So I guess here's an extremely simplified version of my personal "Postmortem" - Don't hold yourself back next time.