This was my first ever game jam, heck my first time ever making an actual game. But, I don’t think I knew enough to make it in time, even with 20+ tabs open for one aspect after another; I think it wasn’t meant to be, maybe this wasn’t for Ludum Dare. I tried. I mean, I have screens, ui, player animations, coded physics , even music! And yet, with less than 3 hours left, I know I won’t be able to finish all this. It’s sad. Honestly, I wish I could have done more.

To all those who completed the Jam (compo, normal, whatever), congrats! ♡＼(￣▽￣)／♡ From the bottom of my heart, I’m proud of you and I hope next year I can be as proud of myself as I feel for you guys. I know I will love playing your games (I know once the sadness settles, the excitement buzzing in me will be wonderfully high) and I hope, whether a jam or normally, people might love playing mine.

I wanted to add LD to my college portfolio, so not finishing feels like not 1 but 2 losses, two violent punches to the gut. I can’t even bring myself to power through, I know I won’t finish maybe I was too ambitious, or wasn’t emotionally ready with loss so recent, or over-thought too much, or didn’t have as much free time as I thought I would, or was not as ready as I should have been, there’s so much, isn’t there? /but/ I love my idea - and I suppose at the very least, I have something to continue with. Going through with it is better than abandoning it, right? No ranking or rating or “official participation” for me, but I mean, maybe I could send the game to the admissions officers and hope the little astronaut and his s’more wins them over? I don’t know, I’m rambling.

I don’t think I should be practically venting here, but I’m alone - don’t really have friends”, nor will family understand these feelings & this struggle, nor are they really willing to. It hurts, but it is what it is. I don’t know if anyone here gets it too. I mean, I doubt anyone was as foolish as me to go in blind - watched 1 tutorial and a half for my game engine, then a dozen or so videos regarding jams, and hoped that my expertise as an artist would help me with zooming through pixel art (pixel art was fun though I suppose, that’s nice no?) - I was way too optimistic, and a bit too over my head I’m sure, but I suppose that’s a lesson learned huh.

I’ve heard Game jams are learning experiences, we each have our own lessons. While yes, I won’t learn anything related to how good my game possibly is or isn’t, I learnt quite a bit - the hard way sure, but I learnt. Maybe listening to you all will teach me more, who knows?

I feel fragile right now, but I’m trying to console myself. It’s one jam, not the end of the world. There’s another chance to try again cause I mean /I tried/, you know?

I tried.

That means the world right?

I finally tried to take a step towards my dream? My ambitions? That counts for something y’know?

Alright, let’s not get too poetic, Murakami.

To you all, once again, regardless if it matched your vision, turning out better or not meeting your standard (but being wonderful nonetheless). I’m proud of you. ╰(´︶`)╯♡

Seeing these games, the dev posts and updates, the streams, it all fills me with so much awe and inspiration, and just glee. I’m a hatchling to all this: I play games like I breathe, yet I suppose taking flight to make them is going to be hard - but seeing you all shows me that maybe one day, I can do it too. You guys have worked so wonderfully, with so much zeal and effort, putting all that you could give for these past 48 to 72 hours, so take some rest, and give yourself a pat on the back, you did more than earn it. Pretend I’m giving you guys a virtual hug, as a thanks for bringing your ideas into the world for us to enjoy, and to say ‘you did well, congratulations dearest warrior’ (^^)♡ I may know none of you but you’ve all made this kid proud and I hope you continue to do what makes you happy - whether it’s continuing game dev or trying new avenues - I’ll be silently cheering you on from my little corner of the world. <3

And to myself, I get it, I’m stressed, and I couldn’t do it, but you gave it a shot and that matters. This isn’t for college, or some event, at the end of the day it’s for you, for us - our passion, our dreams. This was not your time /so what/? Maybe some other jam, maybe the next LD (I mean look at all the people who picked themselves up after not finishing last time, you can do it too)

So yes, I didn’t finish in time. but

I tried, right?