I’m in and I’m going to use … SQL!
Its 2 hours to go and I’ve not been able to sleep for hours. So I’ve been writing some ‘framework’!
And that framework turned out to be a little SQL parser and runner in … you’ve guessed it, Javascript!
It supports basic joins-in-the-where-clause, column and table aliases and insert statements (with constraints!).
It does type-coercion on insert in the same broken way that MySQL does.
So as you see, I really am picking the best of all worlds: Javascript + SQL + MySQL bugs features… what’s not to love?
Maybe I have time to add DELETE and UPDATE before the LD starts and I need to work out some game to use all this awesomeness on… 
</smug twit>