{"assets":[],"author_link":"author\/kestrelgames\/","author_name":"kestrelgames","cat":"LD #35","categories":["LD #35"],"comments":[],"epoch":1460819940,"event":"LD35","likes":6,"metadata":{"p_key":"83360","p_author":"kestrelgames","p_authorkey":"0","p_urlkey":"294098","p_title":"And Pluto was a cosmic janitor\u2026","p_cat":"LD #35","p_event":"LD35","p_time":"1460819940","p_likes":"6","p_comments":"0","p_status":"WAYBACK","us_key":null,"us_name":null,"us_username":null,"event_start":"1460678400","event_key":"33","event_name":"LD35"},"source_url":"2016\/04\/16\/and-pluto-was-a-cosmic-janitor\/","text":"

Pluto has been assigned the task of Cleaning Up All The Crap From The Annoying Earthlings. Absorb and grow, dear friend.<\/p>\n

Help the\u00a0universe\u00a0de-clutter useless junk like astrocats, fishbones, asteroid belts, dwarf planets, weird stuff like\u00a0the ISS and gargantuan\u00a0space telescopes.<\/p>\n

\u2018What does it say on the side?\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Hubble\u2026\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018DID YOU SAY\u2026 RUBBLE?\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018No, I\u2013\u2019 <\/em><\/p>\n

\u2018Get rid of it!\u2019<\/em><\/p>\n

This is the kind of sophisticated dialogue you might expect from a depressed planetoid.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/p>\n

\u2026anyway.<\/p>\n

\u2026this is our orbital test \":)\"<\/p>\n

\"plutowas_flash\"<\/p>\n

(please click the flash file for an actual MOVING GRAPHICS screen!) (need to turn those glows down, whoops)<\/p>\n

https:\/\/trello-attachments.s3.amazonaws.com\/5709abaf71cccf97724de9fa\/5711cc4a9527dbbd0bf27706\/331940d0ec48d81ac70ddb3b0696cb78\/FX.swf<\/a><\/p>\n

Tune in next time for the T.R.U.M.P.-3000 astrobots\u2026 otherwise known as Earth\u2019s Greatest Offence!<\/p>\n

\u2018There is so much punctuation in this name! I cannot\u2026 I just cannot handle\u2026\u2019 -the Pluto formerly known as a planet<\/em><\/p>\n

The longer TRUMPbots are in space, the more rubbish\u00a0they spit out. Unlike standard space junk, Pluto derives no energy boost\/mass-gain from coming into contact with this nonsense, and must avoid it instead.<\/p>\n

Tags: andplutowasaplanet<\/a>, LD35<\/a>, outer space<\/a>, planets<\/a>, space<\/a>, spacejunk<\/a><\/p>","time":"April 16th, 2016 3:19 pm","title":"And Pluto was a cosmic janitor\u2026","title_was_empty":false}