"10/10. Most Coffee Consumed During Development" — The Midnight Coder's Gazette

"I missed my daughter's first steps for this, and it was worth it." — Anonymous Dev's Wife

"The most accurate simulation of a rubber duck's existential dread." — Bath Time Times

"It runs on my toaster! 10/10 optimization." — Appliance Weekly

"Worth every downloaded kb" — Dial-Up Connection Magazine

"We ran it on a potato. It still got 60 FPS." — Potato Farming Simulator Fan Club