A bot is sinking by Melondonut

[raw]
made by Melondonut for LD29 (JAM)
A boat is sinking.

It is a text-based game.
I hope you to find out what is beneath the surface.

made by twine 2.0 alpha

Ratings

Coolness 46% 1460
Overall(Jam) 2.80 597
Fun(Jam) 2.15 703
Innovation(Jam) 3.09 335
Mood(Jam) 3.30 260
Theme(Jam) 2.96 472

Feedback

Rick Hoppmann
28. Apr 2014 路 23:17 UTC
I wouldn't say that's a game, but a digital story with various branches to discover. Anyway, the story was ok, but missing some interesting twist to me.
I rather dislike the present tense for telling a story.
cr2crstudios
28. Apr 2014 路 23:32 UTC
Interesting story. Good interface!
Daniel X. Moore
28. Apr 2014 路 23:37 UTC
Thank you for telling this story. It was illuminating about the recent event.
PaperBlurt
29. Apr 2014 路 06:24 UTC
I'm not the one to judge as I too have typos and grammatical errors in my Twines, but here they are a bit too many.

But I DO like twines that doesn't take place in a fantasy world or in space.

Keep it up!
馃帳 Melondonut
29. Apr 2014 路 06:41 UTC
thank your for your comments. I will correct the grammatical errors soon. :D
Snoother
29. Apr 2014 路 08:29 UTC
Yeah, a few too many grammatical errors, but I too am pleased to play a twine game that isn't fantastical. The subject matter was certainly interesting and well-dealt-with, but the prose felt a bit plane.
Snoother
29. Apr 2014 路 08:31 UTC
*plain
Mandlebar
29. Apr 2014 路 13:09 UTC
A really interesting take on the theme and relevant to recent events! Story was well told too!
馃帳 Melondonut
29. Apr 2014 路 15:33 UTC
I know my writing is poor. ;( I have to study English a lot more. Thank you for playing and comments!
micdoodle8
01. May 2014 路 06:54 UTC
Nice job, very unique and interesting story.
Tomski
04. May 2014 路 20:56 UTC
interesting idea!
馃帳 Melondonut
07. May 2014 路 17:49 UTC
Thanks for playing :D good to hear that!
The-nameless-kompany
08. May 2014 路 05:24 UTC
It's a good history. Maybe later you can add some images.
馃帳 Melondonut
08. May 2014 路 15:50 UTC
thanks for your comment :D I will consider it
ArthurMaker
09. May 2014 路 08:39 UTC
Okay Pretty good work for being a text based game , WELL DONE.... CHECK OUT MY GAME
Rabbits...
16. May 2014 路 21:42 UTC
I've been following this on the news, It was cool seeing your prospective on the matter.
馃帳 Melondonut
19. May 2014 路 02:23 UTC
Thank you all! phew. there are still missing people.. about 10. It was just a disaster by human-error.
wschorn
19. May 2014 路 03:10 UTC
some nice writing but no assets, no clear writing style or characters
Clinthoney
19. May 2014 路 04:08 UTC
Not a bad game just wish you gave the entry a name. Would of been nice if you had some kind sounds.
aeveis
19. May 2014 路 05:23 UTC
The different versions were interesting in revealing what actually happened.
Acuity
19. May 2014 路 07:22 UTC
It felt like the story needed more branches to me, but otherwise interesting.
馃帳 Melondonut
24. May 2014 路 04:50 UTC
@wschorn yup. I admit it. I tried to make it really dried.
and actually there are many episodes regarding this accident so I could make some characters. but I was afraid that I would hurt the families of missing people if they play my game. ....I didn't want to make any unreal character, nor characters based on real people.
馃帳 Melondonut
24. May 2014 路 04:51 UTC
@Clinthoney yea it was really strange. I definitely put the title, but somehow it changed to jam entry. now I fixed it. thx for advice.
馃帳 Melondonut
24. May 2014 路 04:52 UTC
@aeveis Thanks!
@Acuity yea I made little branched on purpose. I just wanted to let the truth known. I know what you exactly mean.. thank you. :D