A bot is sinking by Melondonut

[raw]
made by Melondonut for LD29 (JAM)
A boat is sinking.

It is a text-based game.
I hope you to find out what is beneath the surface.

made by twine 2.0 alpha

Ratings

Coolness 46% 1460
Overall(Jam) 2.80 597
Fun(Jam) 2.15 703
Innovation(Jam) 3.09 335
Mood(Jam) 3.30 260
Theme(Jam) 2.96 472

Feedback

Rick Hoppmann
28. Apr 2014 · 23:17 UTC
I wouldn't say that's a game, but a digital story with various branches to discover. Anyway, the story was ok, but missing some interesting twist to me.
I rather dislike the present tense for telling a story.
cr2crstudios
28. Apr 2014 · 23:32 UTC
Interesting story. Good interface!
Daniel X. Moore
28. Apr 2014 · 23:37 UTC
Thank you for telling this story. It was illuminating about the recent event.
PaperBlurt
29. Apr 2014 · 06:24 UTC
I'm not the one to judge as I too have typos and grammatical errors in my Twines, but here they are a bit too many.

But I DO like twines that doesn't take place in a fantasy world or in space.

Keep it up!
🎤 Melondonut
29. Apr 2014 · 06:41 UTC
thank your for your comments. I will correct the grammatical errors soon. :D
Snoother
29. Apr 2014 · 08:29 UTC
Yeah, a few too many grammatical errors, but I too am pleased to play a twine game that isn't fantastical. The subject matter was certainly interesting and well-dealt-with, but the prose felt a bit plane.
Snoother
29. Apr 2014 · 08:31 UTC
*plain
Mandlebar
29. Apr 2014 · 13:09 UTC
A really interesting take on the theme and relevant to recent events! Story was well told too!
🎤 Melondonut
29. Apr 2014 · 15:33 UTC
I know my writing is poor. ;( I have to study English a lot more. Thank you for playing and comments!
micdoodle8
01. May 2014 · 06:54 UTC
Nice job, very unique and interesting story.
Tomski
04. May 2014 · 20:56 UTC
interesting idea!
🎤 Melondonut
07. May 2014 · 17:49 UTC
Thanks for playing :D good to hear that!
The-nameless-kompany
08. May 2014 · 05:24 UTC
It's a good history. Maybe later you can add some images.
🎤 Melondonut
08. May 2014 · 15:50 UTC
thanks for your comment :D I will consider it
ArthurMaker
09. May 2014 · 08:39 UTC
Okay Pretty good work for being a text based game , WELL DONE.... CHECK OUT MY GAME
Rabbits...
16. May 2014 · 21:42 UTC
I've been following this on the news, It was cool seeing your prospective on the matter.
🎤 Melondonut
19. May 2014 · 02:23 UTC
Thank you all! phew. there are still missing people.. about 10. It was just a disaster by human-error.
wschorn
19. May 2014 · 03:10 UTC
some nice writing but no assets, no clear writing style or characters
Clinthoney
19. May 2014 · 04:08 UTC
Not a bad game just wish you gave the entry a name. Would of been nice if you had some kind sounds.
aeveis
19. May 2014 · 05:23 UTC
The different versions were interesting in revealing what actually happened.
Acuity
19. May 2014 · 07:22 UTC
It felt like the story needed more branches to me, but otherwise interesting.
🎤 Melondonut
24. May 2014 · 04:50 UTC
@wschorn yup. I admit it. I tried to make it really dried.
and actually there are many episodes regarding this accident so I could make some characters. but I was afraid that I would hurt the families of missing people if they play my game. ....I didn't want to make any unreal character, nor characters based on real people.
🎤 Melondonut
24. May 2014 · 04:51 UTC
@Clinthoney yea it was really strange. I definitely put the title, but somehow it changed to jam entry. now I fixed it. thx for advice.
🎤 Melondonut
24. May 2014 · 04:52 UTC
@aeveis Thanks!
@Acuity yea I made little branched on purpose. I just wanted to let the truth known. I know what you exactly mean.. thank you. :D