Big dumb themes for big dumb idiots - LD54 Edition!
Everyone prepares differently.
As the final hours and minutes tick down, bringing us ever closer to the theme announcement and subsequent frenzy, each jammer finds peace in their own way. Some choose to meditate, reflecting upon the path that brought them here to this place and moment. Others choose to party; to stave off dread with alcohol and drugs and petty street crime. Some indulge in just unrelenting sexual escapades with several [INSERT READER'S PREFERRED SEXUAL PARTNER] at a time... like, seriously, an absolutely unhinged amount of coitus... get a room, jeez.
But me? Oh, I'm a humble guy. What do I do? Well... I post absolutely idiotic suggestions for the final round of themes. That's what I do.
And here they are!!!! :sparkles: :sparkles: :sparkles: :poop:
Shelter – So what the game is, see ~yawn~ … well, like, there’s this roof and ~YAWWWWNN~ Oh, sorry, I dozed off there for a second. Anyway, so you have to find shelterrrr… ~SNORE~ (In case it’s not clear, I am not fond of this theme)
Break the cycle – Hammer. Bike. Go!
Underground – Play as Jim, a downtrodden apprentice at a spice grinding factory. The problem is, Jim is weak. He has no muscles. His boss always yells at him: “You are such an earthworm Jim! Why is your spice always under-ground?!”. Poor Jim.
Strange machines – It’s time to sell some stuff to idiots! Is this a brick? No, it’s just a strange machine! That’ll be $500 please! What do you mean it’s just a snotty tissue? You’re clearly just not familiar with such a strange machine! $2000 or keep walking, bud! It’s not a con if your customers are too stupid to realise it’s a con!
Paths – Wow! This one is fun for the whole family! A sure-fire rollicking good time for young and old. It’s what we’ve all been waiting for. That’s right! Finally, we’re going to gamify GRAPH THEORY! WOO HOO!
Signal – Smoke signals… something something… semaphore...
Folklore – You are Johnathon Folk. And this… is Folk Law. What’s that? Oh, it’s lore? Oh. My bad. I got nothin’...
Overgrown – A game about drinking soup with a seven inch long moustache. Is it possible? Can it be done? Why hasn’t someone made this game already? (Answers: 1) No. 2) I said, no. 3) Just no, dude, jeez.)
Sanctuary – The mighty ship Tuary. Pride of the fleet. Bastion of order amidst the writhing chaos of the tumultuous ocean waves. What’s that? OH NO! A torpedo! RUN! FLEE! SAVE YOURSELVES! ~glug glug glug~ Now she rests on the dark and lonely sea floor. But who, oh, WHO was it that… Sank Tuary?! A jaunty point and click sea adventure investigation mystery. Hold on, is this actually a good idea? …. Naaaahh.
Salvage – The names Sal. Sal Vage…. Wait… I don’t really like where this one is headed.
Reflect – Step one, capture player’s webcam. Step two, show player’s webcam stream to player. Step three… well, that’s as far as I got actually. Eh. Let’s just call it an arthouse game and take the rest of the jam off.
Locks and keys – A match the pairs game where the only cards are pictures of Sean Lock or Alicia Keys. That’s right there’s four cards. A pair for each person… Game of the Year?
Keep the light on – You hooked up light beer to the full-strength beer tap at the pub. The barflies are starting to sober up. Their angry muttering is becoming almost coherent. Just how long can you keep the light on?
Tiny Creatures – Play as a single-cell amoeba. Float around. Respire. Float around some more. Over seven hours of gameplay, see if you can achieve your goal of moving 5 micrometres. Riveting stuff!
Limited space – Atypinggamewhereyouareonlyallowedtousethespacekeyonceper sentence.
Absorb – Now, wait… hear me out… Sanitary Napkins: The Game. (Wanna know something funny? I actually suggested this theme and I didn’t even vote for it in the final round)
AND THAT'S IT, FOLKS!!
Good luck with the JAM everyone!!!
And if you're one of those folks who's engaging in just utterly mind-boggling amounts of sex to prepare of the Ludum Dare... you need to seek counselling... really... we're worried about you... it's a cry for help








